Darwin Awards....

    Darwin are awarded to the person who has best contributed to the
    survival of the human race by removing himself from the gene pool in
    the most spectacularly stupid manner - this person is usually
    an American.
   
    You may recall last year's Darwin Award winner: The man who found 
    out moments before making a 300 MPH dent in an Arizona cliff that the 
    JATO (Jet Assist Take Off) rocket he'd strapped to his car
    could not be turned off once it was turned on.
   
    The eleven 1998 nominees are:
   
    1) San Jose, CA: An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to
    break a former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to
    death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
   
    2) Alamo MI: James Burns, 34, of Alamo, Mich, was killed in March as
    he was trying to repair what police described as a "farm-type truck" Burns
    got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns
    hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling
    noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other 
    man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft".
   
    3) Newton, NC: Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to
    death in December when, awakening to the sound of a ringing 
    telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed
    instead a Smith&Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it 
    to his ear.
   
    4) Toronto: Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows
    in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder
    and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 
    39,fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday
    evening as he was explaining the strength of the building's windows to
    visiting law students.
    Hoy previously had conducted demonstrations of window strength
    according to police reports. Peter Lawyers, managing partner of the
    firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy
    was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man
    association.
   
    5) A terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being blamed for
    the death of a man who was killed by his own gas. There was no mark 
    on his body but autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in
    his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage 
    (and a couple of other things). It was just the right combination of 
    foods.It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing the poisonous
    cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been outside or
    had his windows been opened, it wouldn't have been fatal, but the 
    man was shut up in his near airtight bedroom. According to the article, "He
    was a big man with a huge capacity for creating "this deadly gas". Three 
    of the rescuers got sick and one was hospitalised.
   
    6) Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously in
    1998. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on 
    a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. In
    March 1989, sitting on a metal toilet in his cell and attempting to fix 
    his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
   
    7) Dunkirk, IN: A Jay County man using a cigarette lighter to check
    the barrel of a muzzle loader was killed when the weapon discharged in 
    his face.
    Sheriff's investigators said Gregory David Pryor, 19,  died in his
    parents' rural Dunkirk home about 11:30 pm. Investigators
    said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle loader that had not been
    firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the
    gunpowder ignited.
   
    8) St. Louis: Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a
    St Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call police, Puelo 
    grabbed a hot dog, shoved it in his mouth, and walked out without paying for it.
    Police found him unconscious in front of the store: paramedics removed the
    six-inch wiener from his throat, where it had choked him to death.
   
    9) Poacher Marino Malerba shot a stag standing above him on an
    overhanging rock -- and was killed instantly when it fell on him.
   
    10) Kincaid, W VA: A man at a party popped a blasting cap into his
    mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips,
    teeth and tongue, state police said Wednesday. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of
    Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during a party late Tuesday
    night, said Cpl M.D. Payne. Another man had it in an aquarium, 
    hooked to a battery, and was trying to explode it," Payne said "It
    wouldn't go off and this guy said, 'I'll show you how to set it 
    off".
   
    11) Arkansas: Two local men were seriously injured when their 
    pick-up truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 
    38 early Monday morning. Woodruff County deputy Dovey
    Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston
    Poole, 33, of Des Arc and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock are
    listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical Center. The accident
    occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc after a frog 
    gigging trip.
    On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pick-up truck headlights
    malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model 
    truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed
    that the 22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fusebox 
    next to the steering wheel column.
    Upon inserting the bullet, the headlights again began to operate
    properly so the two men proceeded on east-bound toward the White 
    River bridge. After traveling approximately twenty miles and just before
    crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck
    Poole in the right testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply to the right exiting
    the pavement and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and
    abrasions from the accident, but will require surgery to repair the other 
    wound. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and
    was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when
    Thurston shot his nut off or we might both be dead" stated Wallis.
    "I've been a trooper for ten years in this part of the world, but this
    is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how 
    this accident happened", said Snyder.
    Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia,20, Poole's wife asked how
    many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the 
    truck.

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