! Lawyer Jokes !

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 50?
A: Your honor.

Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad?
A: Senator.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?
A: Depends on how thin you slice them.

Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

Q: When lawyers die, why are they buried in a hole 36 feet deep?
A: Because down deep, they are all nice guys!

Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.

Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A: Shoot him before he hits the water.

Q: Have you heard about the lawyers word processor?
A: No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.

Q: What do lawyers use as contraceptives?
A: Their personalities.

Q: How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

Q: Why did the post office recall the new lawyer stamps?
A: Because people could not tell which side to spit on.

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