Why Beer Is Better Than Women
=============================

You can enjoy a beer all month.

Beer stains wash out.

You don't have to wine and dine beer.

Beer is never late.

A beer will wait in the car while you go and play football.

A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.

When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.

Hangovers go away

Beer labels come off without a fight.

A beer won't tell you its pregnant for fun.

When you go to a bar, you can always pick up a beer.

After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.

Beer never has a headache.

A beer goes down easy.

A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer.

You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.

If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.

You can share a beer with your friends.

You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.

Beer doesn't demand equality.

Beer is always wet.

You can have a beer in public.

A frigid beer is a good beer.

A beer doesn't care when you come.

You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.

You can't catch social diseases from a beer.

If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.

A beer is always satisfying.

Its okay to leave a party with a different beer than the one you brought.

The only thing a beer tells you is when its time to go to the bathroom.

To cool off a beer, all you have to do is put it in the ice-box.

All you have to do to get over a beer is take a leak.

Beer doesn't complain about farting

You are never embarrassed about the beer you bring to a party.

Beer won't drive you to drink.

You can shoot a beer.

You don't need a license to live with a beer.

A beer chaser is easier to catch.

A tree is good enough for a beer.

Beer and "ice" don't mix.

Beer doesn't grow hair where it shouldn't.

Beer doesn't care how much you earn.

Beer won't complain about your choice of vacation, It goes along happily.

You can put all your old beers together in one room and they won't fight.

When you are interrupted by a beer, it's for a good reason.

No matter what the package, a beer still looks good.

A beer gets lighter the longer you hold it.

A beer does not come with in-laws.

Beer doesn't care if you go to sleep right after you've had it

Beer is happy to ride in the trunk of your car.

You never have to promise to respect a beer in the morning.

Beer never complains about a wet spot.

Beer doesn't look you up in a month.

Beer doesn't have a mother.

Beer doesn't have morals.

Beer doesn't go crazy once a month.

Beer always listens and never argues.

Beer looks the same in the morning.

Beer always comes in multiples of six.

When your Beer is gone, you just pop another.

Beer doesn't mind being in the "wet spot" that IT left.

Beer doesn't worry about waking the kids.

Beer doesn't get cramps.

Beer doesn't worry about someone walking in.

Beer doesn't need much closet space.

Beer doesn't have a lawyer.

Beer doesn't have cold hands/feet.

Beer is never overweight.

Beer doesn't whine, it bubbles.

Beer labels don't go out of style every year.

Beer won't run off with your credit cards.

Beer doesn't complain about the way you drive.

Beer never changes its mind.

Beer doesn't tease you or play hard to get.

After you have a beer, you're committed to nothing other than
dumping the empty bottle.

A beer never costs you more than five dollars and never
leaves you thirsty.

Beer doesn't demand legality.

A beer won't smoke in your car.

Beer never asks you to change the TV station.

Beer is always easy to pick up.

Beer doesn't pout or play games.

Beer NEVER says no.

Beer never complains that you don't take it out somewhere.

Beer doesn't wear a bra.

Beer doesn't mind getting dirty.

Beer doesn't complain about insensitivity.

Beer doesn't use up your toilet paper.

Beer doesn't live with its mother.

Beer doesn't need to go to the 'powder room' with other Beers

A beer won't whine that seatbelts hurt.

A beer won't get upset if you come home with Beer on your
breath.

A beer won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving
the toilet seat up.

A beer will never buy a car with automatic transmission.

A beer is always ready to leave on time.

When you're through with A beer, the thought of another Beer
doesn't make you ill.

A beer won't make you eat some experimental vegetarian meal
that tastes like STP Oil Treatment.

A beer won't accuse you of lying when you say you read
Penthouse "just for the articles". (You *are* lying, but
the Beer won't accuse you of it.

If you take a beer out of the fridge just to look at it but
then decide to drink it, the Beer won't accuse you of
"date rape".

Beer tastes *good*.

A beer never fishes for compliments.

An ice-cold Beer will nonetheless let you have your way with it.

Beer doesn't make you go shopping.

Beer doesn't tell you to mow the grass. Big, fat Beers are nice to have.

Beer is easy to get into. Beer doesn't blow you off.

A beer is more likely to know how to spell "carburettor" than a woman.

A beer won't make you pick up some tampons when you go to the grocery 
store.

Beer doesn't bitch, yell, or cry.

Beer doesn't mind football season.

A beer won't make you go to church.

Beer doesn't care if you have no culture or manners.

A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say "Doberman"
instead of "doberperson".

If a beer leaks all over the room, it smells kinda good
for a while.

A beer won't make fun of your tiny penis

Index