Special High Intensity Training
  
   In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
   rom our employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well 
   trained through our new program of special high intensity training. (S.H.I.T.)
   We are striving to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other company. 
   If you feel that you do not receive your fair share of S.H.I.T., please see
   your manager. you will immediately be placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. 
   list.
   Our managers are especially skilled in seeing that you get all the 
   S.H.I.T. you can handle.  Employees who don't take S.H.I.T. will be placed in the
   Department of Employee Evaluation Program. (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.)  Those 
   who fail to take S.H.I.T. will have to go to Employees Attitude Training.
   (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.)
  
   Since our managers took. S.H.I.T. They don't have to do S.H.I.T. any
   more because they are full of S.H.I.T. already. If you are full of 
   S.H.I.T.,you may be qualified to train others. We can add your name to our Basic
   Understanding Lecture List(B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of
   B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get S.H.I.T. jobs and can apply for a Promotion 
   to Director of Intensity Programming(D.I.P.S.H.I.T) If you have any
   questions, please direct them to our Head Of Training(H.O.T S.H.I.T.)
  
   Thank you,
  
   Boss in General
   (B.I.G.S.H.I.T)

Index