AIRCRAFT MAINTENANCE
You'd think that aircraft maintenance logs would make
for pretty dull reading. Not always. These are real
maintenance complaints submitted by pilots and the
replies from the maintenance crews:

Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs
replacement."
Solution: "Left inside main tire almost replaced."
               
Problem: "Test flight okay, except autoland very
rough."
Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."
               
Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit"
               
Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main
landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence removed."
               
Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a
200 fpm descent."
Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."
               
Problem: "1FF inoperative."
Solution: "1FF inoperative in OFF mode."
               
Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to
stick."
Solution: "That's what they're there for."
               
Problem: "Number three engine missing."
Solution: "After brief search, engine found on right
wing."
               
Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
Solution: "Live bugs on order."

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