Signs that you have had too much of the 90's.  How many
do you recognise?


1. You try to enter your password on the microwave.
		 
2. You haven't played patience with real cards in years.
	 
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your
family of three.

4. You e-mail your work colleague at the desk next to
you to ask "Do you fancy going down the pub?" and they reply "Yeah, give
me five minutes".
		 
5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from
South America, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbour yet
this year.
		 
6. You buy a computer and a week later it is out of
date.

7. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is
that they do not have e-mail addresses.

8. You consider Royal Mail painfully slow or call it
"snail mail".
		 
9. Your idea of being organised is multiple coloured
post-it notes.
		 
10. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in
person.
		 
11. When you go home after a long day at work you still
answer the phone in a business manner.
		 
12. When you make phone calls from home, you
accidentally insert a "9" to get an outside line.
		 
13. You've sat at the same desk for four years and
worked for three different companies.
		 
14. Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
		 
15. Your CV is on a diskette in your pocket.
		 
16. You really get excited about a 1.7% pay rise.
		 
17. You learn about your redundancy on the 9 o'clock
news.
		 
18 Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you
lose all your best jokes.
		 
19. Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your
job.
		 
20. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more
likely to get long-service awards.
		 
21. Board members salaries are higher than all the Third
World countries annual budgets combined.
		 
22. It's dark when you drive to and from work, even in
the summer.
		 
23. You know exactly how many days you've got left until
you retire.
		 
24. Interviewees, despite not having the relevant
knowledge or experience, terminate the interview when told of the
starting salary.
		 
25. You see a good looking, smart person and you know it
must be a visitor.
		 
26. Free food left over from meetings is your staple
diet.
		 
27. The work experience person gets a brand-new
state-of-the-art laptop with all the features, while you have time to go
for lunch while yours powers up.
		 
28. Being sick is defined as you can't walk or you're in
hospital.
		 
29 You're already late on the assignment you just got.
		 
30 There's no money in the budget for the five permanent
staff your department is short of, but they can afford four full-time
management consultants advising your boss's boss on
strategy.
		 
31. Your boss's favourite lines are: When you've got a
few  minutes...       Could you fit this in...?...in your spare
time...when you're freed up....    I know you're busy but...   I have an
opportunity for you
		 
32. Holiday is something you roll over to next year.
		 
33. Every week another brown collection envelope comes
round because someone you didn't know had started is leaving.
		 
34. You wonder who's going to be left to put into your
'leaving' collection.
		 
35. Your relatives and family describe your job as
"works with computers".
		 
36. The only reason you recognise your kids is because
their pictures are on your desk.
		 
37. You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
		 
38. You read this entire list, kept nodding and smiling.
		 
39. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it
to your "mates you send jokes to" e-mail group.
		 
40. It crosses your mind that your jokes group may have
seen this list already, but you can't be bothered to check so you
forward it anyway.

Index