The following are the top three winners from a "Most Embarrassing
 Moments" contest in New Woman Magazine:

 #1   While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
 release some pent-up energy and ran amok.I was finally able to grab
 hold
 of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
 patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now, she
 would be punished.  To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a
 voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell
 Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'  The silence
 was deafening after this enlightening exchange.  Even the
 tellers stopped what they were doing! I mustered up the last of my
 dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.  The last
 thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter"

 #2   "It was the day before my eighteenth birthday.  I was living at
 home, but my parents had gone out for the  evening, so I invited my
 girlfriend over for a romantic night alone.  As we lay in bed after
 making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs.  I suggested to my
 girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone. Since we
 didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When
 we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a
 whole crowd of people yelled, 'SURPRISE!'  My entire family - aunts,
 uncles, Grandparents, cousins and all my friends were standing there! My
 girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for
 what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned
 a surprise party again.

 #3   One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come
 upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount
 store.  When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of
 her items had no price tag.  Imagine her embarrassment
 when
 the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to
 hear:
 "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE."
 That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently
 misunderstood the word "tampax" for "THUMBTACKS."  In a businesslike
 tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom:
 "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU
 POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"

 -----------------------

 This actually happened at Harvard University in a biology class. The
 prof was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young
 female (freshman) raised her hand and asked "If I understand, you're
 saying there is a lot of glucose in male semen as in sugar?"
 "That's correct", responded the prof, going on to add statistical
 info.
 Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste
 sweet?" After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the
 poor girl's face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she
 had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books
 without a word and walked out of class ... and never returned.
 However, as she was going out the door, the Prof's reply was
 classic...
 Totally straight-faced he answered her question,  "It doesn't taste
 sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your
 tongue and not the back of your throat."

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