Comprehending Engineers

Take One

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one
said,"Where did you get such a great bike?" The second
engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own
business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike
to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want. "
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice,
the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Comprehending Engineers - Take Two

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better
to spend time with the wife or a mistress.  The architect said he enjoyed time
with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.  The artist said
he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there
The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending
time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and get some work done."

Comprehending Engineers - Take Three

What's the difference between Engineers and Architects?
Engineers build weapons, Architects build targets.

Comprehending Engineers - Take Four

To the optimist, the glass is half full
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Comprehending Engineers - Take Five

"An Engineer and His Frog"
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said,
"If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess,
I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you
and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into
his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay
with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog.....now that's cool."

Comprehending Engineers - Take Six

The difference between an extroverted engineer and an
introverted engineer is that the former looks at your shoes when he's talking to you.

Index