The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that
the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of
course,
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law,
(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some
variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are
leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in
the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member
of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of
these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they
are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to
stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are
added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa
Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I
sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not
succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true,
and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
The student received the only "A" given.
Index