ALTERNATIVE EURO 2000 SQUADS
The following squads have just been announced:-
DUTCH SQUAD
Kenning van Hire
Van Diemansland Van der Valk Van Gard Van Erealdizeez
Ad van Tagus Hertz van Rental Transit van Dors
Van Coova Van Sprokendown Aye van Hoe
SUBS:
Van Iller
Van Ishincreme
Van Morrison
Van Halen
SLOVENIAN SQUAD
Whodyanicabolicov
Ticlycov Chesticov Nasticov
Slalomsky Downhillsky
Risky Swedishshev Mastershev
Fuckov Taykitov
SUBS:
Rubitov
Sodov
Pastryshev
Najinsky
Desert Orchid
DANISH SQUAD
Toomanigoalssen
Tryandstopussen Crapdefenssen Haveagossen
Firstsson Seccondsson
Thirdsson
Legshurtssen Notroubleseeingussen
Wherestheballssen Getthebeerssen
SUBS:
Howmanygoalsisthatssen
Finallygaveupcountinssen
Hurryupandblowthewhistlessen
Yourelatedtoalexfergusonssen
YUGOSLAVIAN SQUAD
Itch
Annoyingitch Hardtoreachitch Scratchanitch
Hic Sic Spic Pric
Digaditch Fallinaditch
Sewastitch
SUBS:
Mowapitch
Letsgetrich
Shagabitch
RUMANIAN SQUAD
Chatanoogaciouciou
Atishiou Blessiou Thankyiou
Busqueue Snookercu
Pennyciou Twoapennyciou Fourapennyciou
I'llgetciou Youandwhosarmi
SUBS:
U
NonU
ManU
Stuffyiou
Lee Kwan Yu
ITALIAN SQUAD
Baloni
Potbelli Beerbelli Giveitsumwelli
Wotsontelli Toonsgotkenni Onetoomani
Legslikejelli Havabenni
Wobblijelli Spendapenni
SUBS:
Cantthinkofani!!!
Buggermi
PORTUGUESE SQUAD
Pinnochio
Libero
Vimto Memento Borneo Tango
Cheerio Subbuteo
Scenario Fellatio
Portfolio
SUBS:
Placebo
Porno
Polio
Banjo
Brasso
Stereo (L)
Stereo ®
Hydrochlorofluoro
Aristotle
SPANISH SQUAD
San Francisco
Costa Brava Hopelez Juan Andonly Manuel Gearbox
Don Criformi-Argentina Bodegas Luis Canon Sombrero
Chihuahua Jose
SUBS:
Jesus Maria Don Key
Burrito
Speedy Gonzalez
Tequila
Caramba
News reaches us that Portuguese striker Fellatio no longer has a limp.
This could prove to be a major blow.
Two players who are not included are Slovenian hard-man Sendimov, who
will be serving a three-month suspension, and the hard-working Spanish
midfielder, Manuel Labor.
There is no place in the Dutch squad for the sweeper, Dick van Dyke.
The young Dutch star Per Vert has been excluded from the squad, after
he was discovered in the back streets of Amsterdam with his finger in
a dyke.
Index