ALTERNATIVE EURO 2000 SQUADS

The following squads have just been announced:-


 DUTCH SQUAD

                             Kenning van Hire

 Van Diemansland   Van der Valk   Van Gard    Van Erealdizeez

       Ad van Tagus    Hertz van Rental   Transit van Dors

           Van Coova   Van Sprokendown   Aye van Hoe

 SUBS:

 Van Iller
 Van Ishincreme
 Van Morrison
 Van Halen


 SLOVENIAN SQUAD

                      Whodyanicabolicov

              Ticlycov    Chesticov     Nasticov

                 Slalomsky        Downhillsky

            Risky        Swedishshev     Mastershev

                   Fuckov          Taykitov

 SUBS:

 Rubitov
 Sodov
 Pastryshev
 Najinsky
 Desert Orchid



 DANISH SQUAD

                       Toomanigoalssen

      Tryandstopussen   Crapdefenssen     Haveagossen

                 Firstsson         Seccondsson

                          Thirdsson

         Legshurtssen               Notroubleseeingussen

             Wherestheballssen    Getthebeerssen

 SUBS:

 Howmanygoalsisthatssen
 Finallygaveupcountinssen
 Hurryupandblowthewhistlessen
 Yourelatedtoalexfergusonssen


 YUGOSLAVIAN SQUAD


                              Itch

        Annoyingitch     Hardtoreachitch     Scratchanitch

            Hic         Sic          Spic         Pric
                    Digaditch       Fallinaditch

                            Sewastitch

 SUBS:

 Mowapitch
 Letsgetrich
 Shagabitch


 RUMANIAN SQUAD

                       Chatanoogaciouciou

            Atishiou        Blessiou        Thankyiou

                  Busqueue            Snookercu

         Pennyciou       Twoapennyciou     Fourapennyciou

                I'llgetciou       Youandwhosarmi

 SUBS:

 U
 NonU
 ManU
 Stuffyiou
 Lee Kwan Yu



 ITALIAN SQUAD

                           Baloni

         Potbelli        Beerbelli       Giveitsumwelli

           Wotsontelli   Toonsgotkenni     Onetoomani

                Legslikejelli         Havabenni

                  Wobblijelli     Spendapenni

 SUBS:

 Cantthinkofani!!!
 Buggermi

 PORTUGUESE SQUAD

                            Pinnochio

                             Libero

             Vimto     Memento    Borneo     Tango

                    Cheerio         Subbuteo

                 Scenario             Fellatio

                           Portfolio

 SUBS:

 Placebo
 Porno
 Polio
 Banjo
 Brasso
 Stereo (L)
 Stereo ®
 Hydrochlorofluoro
 Aristotle


  SPANISH SQUAD

                        San Francisco

     Costa Brava     Hopelez    Juan Andonly    Manuel Gearbox

 Don Criformi-Argentina     Bodegas      Luis Canon          Sombrero

                     Chihuahua       Jose


 SUBS:

 Jesus Maria Don Key
 Burrito
 Speedy Gonzalez
 Tequila
 Caramba


 News reaches us that Portuguese striker Fellatio no longer has a limp.
 This could prove to be a major blow.
 Two players who are not included are Slovenian hard-man Sendimov, who
 will be serving a three-month suspension, and the hard-working Spanish
 midfielder, Manuel Labor.

 There is no place in the Dutch squad for the sweeper, Dick van Dyke.

 The young Dutch star Per Vert has been excluded from the squad, after
 he was discovered in the back streets of Amsterdam with his finger in
 a dyke.

  

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