A man had been lost and wandering in the Chinese wilderness for 3 months.
All he had to eat was what he could forage and was forced to sleep wherever
he could find meagre shelter.

One day he came upon an old farm house. In answer to his knock, an old
Chinese gentleman asked "WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

"I have been lost in the wilderness for 3 months and have not had a decent
meal or nights sleep in just as long. May I stay the night?"

The old man agreed under the condition that there be no messing with his
granddaughter. "I will cause you no trouble," the man said.

"That's very good," said the old man, "because if I catch you with my
granddaughter, you will suffer the three most severe Chinese tortures."

The granddaughter attended the evening meal and the man was awe-struck by
her beauty. Since he had been alone for so long and she had not been with a
man in her life, they could hardly keep their eyes off of each other during
the meal.

Later that night the man crept into her room and they had a terrific time
together. They were careful to be quiet lest they awaken the grandfather.
Afterwards, the man returned to his room (on the third floor), and thought:
"That marvellous experience was worth enduring a thousand tortures." He 
then fell promptly asleep and had the best sleep in three months.

Upon awakening, he felt an incredible weight on his chest. He then realised
that there was a 100 pound rock on his chest. On the rock was a sign that
read: "1st Chinese Torture - 100 Pound Rock On Chest."

This is some lame torture thought the man as he carried it over to the
window and threw it out. Then he noticed another sign on the bottom of the
rock: "2nd Chinese torture - Right Testicle Tied To Rock." Knowing that it
was too late to catch the rock, the man hurled himself out of the window
after it. Passing through the window the man saw a third sign on the window
ledge: "3rd Chinese Torture - Left Testicle Tied To Bedpost."

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