WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? 
 AUDITOR: Because it was done in the prior year. 
 KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side. 
 PLATO: For the greater good. 
 ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. 
 KARL MARX: It was an historical inevitability. 
 TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it
 take. 
 SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
 justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. 
 RONALD REAGAN: I forget. 
 CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. 
 HYPOCRITES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas. 
 ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was
 threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with
 significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for
 the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering
 relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its
 physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry
 Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills,
 methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's
 people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within
 a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse
 cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen
 consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a
 two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal
 knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergies with
 each other in order to achieve the implicit goals in delivering and
 successfully
 architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across
 the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a
 park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which
 was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear,
 and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision
 and corevalues. This was conducive towards the creation of a total
 business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to
 become more successful. 
 LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken
 "crossed" the black man in order to trample him and keep him down. 
 MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free
 to cross roads without having their motives called into question. 
 MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and he said unto the chickens,
 "Thou shalt cross the road". And the chicken crossed the road, and there
 was much rejoicing. 
 FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more
 chickens have to cross the road before you believe it? 
 RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the
 chicken did NOT cross the road. 
 MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crosses the road. Who cares
 why? 
 JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross the road? I mean, why doesn't anyone
 ever think to ask, what the heck was this chicken doing walking around all
 over the place, anyway? 
 FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
 road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. 
 BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will
 not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
 balance your cheque book. 
 OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
 Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we
 overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?" 
 DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected
 in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to crossroads. 
 EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath
 the chicken depends on your frame of reference. 
 BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature. 
 RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road... it transcended
 it. 
 ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. 
 COLONEL SANDERS: I can't believe I missed one?

Index