10) He does not have a beer gut; he has developed a
LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

9) He is not quiet; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.

8) He does not get lost all the time; he DISCOVERS
ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

7) He is not balding; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

6) He does not get falling-down drunk; he becomes
ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

5) He is not short; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.

4) He does not constantly talk about cars; he has a
VEHICULAR ADDICTION.

3) He does not eat like a pig; he suffers from REVERSE
BULIMIA.

2) He is not a bad dancer with no rhythm; he is OVERLY
CAUCASIAN.

1) He is not afraid of commitment; he is MONOGAMOUSLY
CHALLENGED.

Index