10) He does not have a beer gut; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY. 9) He is not quiet; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST. 8) He does not get lost all the time; he DISCOVERS ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS. 7) He is not balding; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION. 6) He does not get falling-down drunk; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL. 5) He is not short; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT. 4) He does not constantly talk about cars; he has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION. 3) He does not eat like a pig; he suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA. 2) He is not a bad dancer with no rhythm; he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN. 1) He is not afraid of commitment; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
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