The entire list of Nerd T-shirt slogans
"Historically speaking, the presence of wheels in Unix has never precluded their reinvention." - Larry Wall "If the Start Windows Restart when Windows starts check box is checked Windows Restart will start automatically every time Windows is started." - Actual excerpt from a windows program help file! 665.9238429876 - Number of the Pentium Beast A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy. - Joseph Campbell A computer scientist is someone who, when told to 'Go to Hell', sees the 'go to', rather than the destination, as harmful. A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street. - Doug Linder A hacker does for love what others would not do for money. A program is a device used to convert data into error messages. A)bort, R)etry, I)nfluence with large hammer. ACK and you shall receive. Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later. All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound? APATHY ERROR: Don't bother striking any key. Application has reported a 'Not My Fault' in module KRNL.EXE in line 0200:103F As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. Back when I was a boy, we carved our own IC's out of wood. Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay... Behind every good computer-is a jumble of wires 'n stuff. Beta testers who lie! Next time on Geraldo! Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for 'still doesn't work.' BUFFERS FILES 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go! C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. - Bjarne 'Stumpy' Stroustrup C Programmers do it recursively. Carpe Aptenodytes! (Seize the Penguins!) Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. Sleep: A completely inadequate substitute for caffeine. cthread. cthread_fork(). Fork, thread, fork! Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing. - Dick Brandon Drag me, drop me, treat me like an object! Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... Epigram: Ada is the 400-pound gorilla of programming languages. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue. Error: Sector not found-search behind couch? (Y/N) Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven... FATAL ERROR! SYSTEM HALTED! - Press any key to do nothing... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) Finish the project. We'll buy you a new family. God is real... unless declared an integer. Hey! It compiles! Ship it! I feel like a genocidal maniac when emacs asks me if I want to kill 10789 characters. I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife. I read the FM, and it didn't work. I thought I had a back-up, but she refused to type it in again. ICMP: The protocol that goes PING! If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce today would cost $100, get a million miles to the gallon, and explode once every few weeks, killing everyone inside. Intel: We put the 'um...' in Pentium. Let's face the obvious. Yesterday we were nerds. Today we're the cognitive elite. Let's conquer. - Chester G. Edwards Life's unfair - but root password helps! Linux renders ships, NT is rendering ships useless. Linux: Because rebooting is for adding new hardware. Marketer to coder: "You start coding. I'll go find out what they want." Mountain Dew and doughnuts... because breakfast is the most important meal of the day. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. Once we've got the bugs ironed out, we'll be running on flat bugs. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit... Programmers never die: They just GOSUB without RETURN. Programming graphics in X is like finding sqrt(pi) using Roman numerals. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. - Rich Cook Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand. Remaining time multiplied by distress is constant. RTFM: No just an acronym, it's the LAW! Software isn't released, it's allowed to escape. Standards are industry's way of codifying obsolescence. Students nowadays, complaining they only get 5MBs of disk space! In my day we were lucky if we had one file, and that was /dev/null. The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHH!!'. The three most dangerous things are a programmer with a soldering iron, a manager who codes, and a user who gets ideas. There are two ways to write error-free programs. Only the third one works. This message has been brought to you by the language C and the number F. Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred... To know recursion, you must first know recursion. Unix, BASIC, C, PASCAL, APL, ADA, and PROFANITY spoken here. VI VI VI The editor of the beast. Whip me. Beat me. Make me maintain AIX. You've heard about the computer programmer that died while washing his hair in the shower. The instructions said, 'Lather, rinse, repeat.' If you declare love, what identifier scope does it have? C.O.B.O.L - Completely Obsolete Boring Old Language.
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