Language Harmonisation

 The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has
 been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
 communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. 
 As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that
 English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
 five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for
 short). 
 In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".
 Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the
 hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up
 konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter. 
 There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
 troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like
 "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter. 
 In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
 expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
 possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters,
 which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre
 that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and
 they would go. 
 By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
 "th" by "z" and "w" by " v". 
 During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
 kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
 kombinations of leters. 
 After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
 no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand
 ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

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