CORPORATE LESSONS
  ==================
 
  Lesson Number One
 
  A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit
  saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing
  all day long?"
 
  The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground
  below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped
  on the rabbit and ate it.
 
  Moral of the story:
  To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high
  up.
 
  Lesson Number Two
 
  A turkey was chatting with a bull.  "I would love to be able to get
  to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
  energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"
  replied the bull.
  "They're packed with nutrients."
  The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave
  him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next
  day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
  Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of
  the tree.  Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the
  turkey out of the tree.
 
  Moral of the story:
  Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
 
  Lesson Number Three
 
  When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The
  brain said, " I should be Boss because I control the whole body's
  responses and functions."  The feet said, " We should be Boss as we
  carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."  The
  hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and
  earn all the money." And so it went on and on with the heart, the
  lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts
  laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss.  So the asshole
  went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short
  time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched,
  the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually
  they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion
  was passed.  All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just
  sat and passed out the shit!
 
  Moral of the story:
  You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.
 
  Lesson Number 4
 
  There was a fly buzzing around a barn one day when he happened on a
  pile of fresh cow manure. Since it had been hours since his last
  meal, he flew down and began to eat. He ate and ate and ate. Finally,
  he decided he had eaten enough and tried to fly away. He had eaten
  too much though, and could not get off the ground. As he looked
  around wondering what to do now, he spotted a pitchfork leaning up
  against the wall. He climbed to the top of the handle and jumped off,
  thinking that once he got airborne, he would be able to take flight.
  Unfortunately, he was wrong and dropped like a rock, splatting when
  he hit the floor.  Dead.
 
  The moral to the story is:
  Never fly off the handle when you know you're full of shit.

Index