New Viruses

 LEWINSKY VIRUS
 sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails
 everyone about what it did.

 MIKE TYSON VIRUS
 quits after one byte

 OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS
 your 300mb hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100mb and
 then slowly expands to 200mb.

 DR. JACK KEVORKAIN VIRUS
 deletes all old files.

 TITANIC VIRUS
 your whole computer goes down.

 DISNEY VIRUS
 everything in your computer goes goofy

 PROZAC VIRUS
 screws up your ram, but your processor doesn't care.

 JOEY BUTTAFUCCO VIRUS
 only attacks minor files

 ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS
 terminates some files, leaves, but it'll be back.

 LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS
 turns your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy.

 VIAGRA VIRUS
 turns your 

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