Aer Lingus Flight

 Aer Lingus Flight 101 was flying from Heathrow to Dublin one
 night, with Paddy the Pilot, and Shamus the co-pilot.
 As they approached Dublin airport, they looked out the front
 window. 
 “B’jeesus” said Paddy “Will ye look at how fookin short dat
 runway is”.
 “You’re not fookin kiddin, Paddy” replied Shamus. “Dis is gonna
 be one a’de trickiest landings you’re ever gonna see” said Paddy.
 “You’re not fookin kiddin, Paddy” replied Shamus.
 “Right Shamus. When I give de signal, you put de engines in
 reverse”said Paddy.
 “Right, I’ll be doing dat” replied Shamus.
 “And den ye put de flaps down straight away” said Paddy
 “Right, I’ll be doing dat” replied Shamus.
 “And den ye stamp on dem brakes as hard as ye can” said Paddy
 “Right, I’ll be doing dat” replied Shamus.
 “And den ye pray to de Mother Mary with all a’ your soul” said
 Paddy
 “I be doing dat already” replied Shamus.
 So they approached the runway with Paddy and Shamus full of
 nerves and sweaty palms. As soon as the wheels hit the ground, Shamus put
 the engines in reverse, put the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and prayed
 to Mother Mary with all of his soul.
   
 Amidst roaring engines, squealing of tyres and lots of smoke,
 the plane screeched to a halt centimetres from the end of the runway, much
 to the relief of Paddy and Shamus and everyone on board.
   
 As they sat in the cockpit regaining their composure, Paddy
 looked out the front window and said to Shamus
 “Dat has gotta be de shortest fookin runway I have EVER seen in
 me whole life”.
   
 Shamus looked out the side window and replied “Yeah Paddy, but
 look how fookin wide it is”

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