A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and
feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand
and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you
don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35," was the
reply. "I'm actually 47," the man says happily. 

A little while later he goes to McDonalds for lunch and asks the order 
taker the same question, to which the reply is, "I'd guess that you're 29?"
"Nope, I am actually 47." 
He's starting to feel really good about himself. While standing at the bus stop
he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old and
my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling 
a mans age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for 
ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age." As there was no one else
around the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his
pants. Ten minutes later the old lady says, "OK, it's done. You are 47."
Stunned the man says,
"That was brilliant! How did you do that?" The old lady replies, "I was
behind you in McDonalds."


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