FIREFIGHTERS IGNITE! Darwin Award Nominee (15 July 1999, Tennessee) Seven Chattanooga firefighters decided to impress their Chief by surreptitiously setting fire to a house, then heroically extinguishing the blaze. The men apparently hatched the plan in order to help Daniel, a former firefighter, return to duty. Unfortunately, Daniel's career plans were irreversibly snuffed when he became trapped while pouring gasoline inside the house. Surrounded by smoke and flames, he was unable to escape, and died inside the burning house on June 26. His six accomplices are facing 87 years in prison for conspiracy, arson, and burglary. Why not murder, as well? One of our readers notes, "What makes me feel this is a genuine candidate, is that not only did he kill himself with an act of stupidity, but he is also no longer able to protect other would-be pyromaniacs from Darwin Awards. Had he been successful in his attempt to regain his position, he may have had a ripple effect in the gene pool." +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ NEW ZEALAND CONTEST Darwin Stupidity Award (7 June 1999, New Zealand) A student set his own penis aflame in a successful attempt to win $NZ500 cash and an equal bar tab. Thomas stapled his penis to a white crucifix, poured cigarette lighter fluid over it, and set it on fire in his bid to win a controversial "How Far Will You Go?" promotion for Trader McKendry's Tavern in Christchurch. The event, sponsored by New Zealand Breweries, encouraged patrons to compete for the most lewd act. Thomas walked away with the top prize, which he used for car registration, a warrant of fitness, and registration for his bloodhound Puss. At a student clinic, he obtained free medical treatment for his bruised and burned penis. After two weeks, he has almost recovered, and expresses no regrets about his actions. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ DEAD SPITTER Darwin Award Nominee (15 July 1999, Alabama) A 25-year-old soldier died of injuries sustained from a 3-story fall, precipitated by his attempt to spit farther than his buddy. His plan was to hurl himself towards a metal guardrail while expectorating, in order to add momentum to his saliva. In a tragic miscalculation, his momentum carried him right over the railing, which he caught hold of for a few moments before his grip slipped, sending him plummeting 24 feet to the cement below. The military specialist had a blood alcohol content of 0.14%, impairing his judgment and paving the way for his opportunity to win a Darwin Award.
Index